Kobe Bryant Dead

Heathenraider

Heathen Basterd
I remember coming out of the field and there were no cooks , MRE's for 90 days and You would get so hungry the shit You couldn't trade but has stockpiles started to look good, Chicken ala King, Chocolate covered buttplugs You would have a bunch of , Sitting in the fighting position at night hungry as fuck so You send Your radio guy to grab pogey bags and I ate the rest of what I had 2 chicken ala kings and 5 chocolate covered buttplugs . I just knew I would pay for it later but so fucking hungry I would've ate My boot , so 17 days later I am really hurting started to bloat , went to sick call , told em hadn't shit in 17 days and cant barely walk, they handed Me 3 laxatives sent Me home , I am bitching telling them You think I havnt already tried laxatives? Next day I go back and they IV me and I get the firehose on full blast up the arse full atomic enema, They say go sit next to the latrine and don't leave till You have shit , I am like ok, 2 hours later full run to shitter , I hear the medics laughing , I said ok here We go, full white knuckler , sweating , cursing and the loudest fucking fart ever I mean they heard it outside cuz the laughing just got like a fucking college football game . I finally finish , stomach back flat like normal, feel so good, go to flush ,, I am like fuck that , them fuckers think its funny , I'll leave em this to flush. Called that Medic in who was the ring leader, I am like I think You had better go in there and check out My stool , somethings really wrong with Me, I walk to the check out desk and the fucker runs out gagging . Chocolate covered buttplugs , the revenge.
 

Punisher84

Just some asshole
I remember coming out of the field and there were no cooks , MRE's for 90 days and You would get so hungry the shit You couldn't trade but has stockpiles started to look good, Chicken ala King, Chocolate covered buttplugs You would have a bunch of , Sitting in the fighting position at night hungry as fuck so You send Your radio guy to grab pogey bags and I ate the rest of what I had 2 chicken ala kings and 5 chocolate covered buttplugs . I just knew I would pay for it later but so fucking hungry I would've ate My boot , so 17 days later I am really hurting started to bloat , went to sick call , told em hadn't shit in 17 days and cant barely walk, they handed Me 3 laxatives sent Me home , I am bitching telling them You think I havnt already tried laxatives? Next day I go back and they IV me and I get the firehose on full blast up the arse full atomic enema, They say go sit next to the latrine and don't leave till You have shit , I am like ok, 2 hours later full run to shitter , I hear the medics laughing , I said ok here We go, full white knuckler , sweating , cursing and the loudest fucking fart ever I mean they heard it outside cuz the laughing just got like a fucking college football game . I finally finish , stomach back flat like normal, feel so good, go to flush ,, I am like fuck that , them fuckers think its funny , I'll leave em this to flush. Called that Medic in who was the ring leader, I am like I think You had better go in there and check out My stool , somethings really wrong with Me, I walk to the check out desk and the fucker runs out gagging . Chocolate covered buttplugs , the revenge.
😳😳 mine was physically removed from my rectum...
 

Heathenraider

Heathen Basterd
8 days after eating those I knew I was fucked , I went to liquid meal replacement so I wouldn't get poisoned because I knew the Dam was holding back the flood waters , My stomach hurt so bad , I tried laxatives , no luck , couldn't even fart , They did a fucking x ray to make sure I didn't have some type tumor or some shit blocking Me up , They said if I had been eating solid foods after I switched to meal replacements I might have ruptured I was so blocked up.
 

Punisher84

Just some asshole
Ah military life. After while I learned if you drink enough booze you will shit normal. Those things still tasted like shit, I ate as few as possible. Marines knew how to doctor them up, loved working with those dudes.
 

Heathenraider

Heathen Basterd
Those fucking brownies only came in 2 mres out of like a dozen by design , the Beef Pattie and beef slices mres by design they said , That way You would only on average eat no more than 1 a week , 5 at one time , just don't do.
 

Punisher84

Just some asshole
Those fucking brownies only came in 2 mres out of like a dozen by design , the Beef Pattie and beef slices mres by design they said , That way You would only on average eat no more than 1 a week , 5 at one time , just don't do.
What’s sad is you were a generation ahead of me and we had the same shit lol
 

Heathenraider

Heathen Basterd
Fucked up thing if memory serves the best MRE at the time Omelet with Ham switched from the Road Wheel cookie to the chocolate covered buttplug so in order to avoid the brownie it usually involved having to trade at least half the omelet.
 
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