What would you do?

[Primo bozo]

I have a neighbor who has MS. She never smoked before, but my wife got her to try it over a year ago and she loves it. Since she started, her lesions on her brain have shrunk considerably, she also stopped taking a lot of the pain meds they give her. I gift her about 2 oz a month, plus we have a smoke session almost every night at 10pm. She spends 3 to 4 hours a day with her 95 yr old grandmother taking care of her. Last night she said that because her grandmother was in the hospital for a few days, she is going to have to spend more time with her. That's when she says to us, she better get a raise if she has to be there longer. I had to ask, how much are you charging her? Right now she said she was being paid 25 dollars an hour, but if she has to be there 6 or 7 hours she should get at least 40 dollars an hour. WTF. Is all I can think. Who the hell charges their 95 yr old grandmother 40 to sit with her. So I'm at a dilemma, should I stop gifting her smoke? I don't sell it, so it's not like I'm going to charge her for it. But I don't want to take something away that is helping her, I just don't feel good about giving it to her now. It's really none of my business, again who the hell charges their grandmother like that? So, what would you do?

 

[curious2garden]

I have a neighbor who has MS. She never smoked before, but my wife got her to try it over a year ago and she loves it. Since she started, her lesions on her brain have shrunk considerably, she also stopped taking a lot of the pain meds they give her. I gift her about 2 oz a month, plus we have a smoke session almost every night at 10pm. She spends 3 to 4 hours a day with her 95 yr old grandmother taking care of her. Last night she said that because her grandmother was in the hospital for a few days, she is going to have to spend more time with her. That's when she says to us, she better get a raise if she has to be there longer. I had to ask, how much are you charging her? Right now she said she was being paid 25 dollars an hour, but if she has to be there 6 or 7 hours she should get at least 40 dollars an hour. WTF. Is all I can think. Who the hell charges their 95 yr old grandmother 40 to sit with her. So I'm at a dilemma, should I stop gifting her smoke? I don't sell it, so it's not like I'm going to charge her for it. But I don't want to take something away that is helping her, I just don't feel good about giving it to her now. It's really none of my business, again who the hell charges their grandmother like that? So, what would you do?

Legitimate dilemma, is she charging her Grandmother or taking advantage of a government caregiver program. Would that make a difference to you? By the way thank you for being so kind to support someone.

 

[Primo bozo]

No. The grandmother is supposedly wealthy. It just rubs me wrong. Her and her husband are not rich, but they aren't hurting either. I think what bothers me the most is that she now wants to charge double because she needs to be there 2 or 3 more hours a day. If they needed the money, maybe I could understand it. She also said something the other night about how she can't wait to see how much her grandmother is going to leave her. Who thinks like that?

 

[H.A.F.]

No. The grandmother is supposedly wealthy. It just rubs me wrong. Her and her husband are not rich, but they aren't hurting either. I think what bothers me the most is that she now wants to charge double because she needs to be there 2 or 3 more hours a day. If they needed the money, maybe I could understand it. She also said something the other night about how she can't wait to see how much her grandmother is going to leave her. Who thinks like that?

I don't know rich people. If Grandma is rich she might be a flat-out bitch and "being generous" (paying people) could have been the only way to keep people around. You never know. That could have been the status quo since childhood.

If you want peace of mind I would confront her with your dilemma. See her reaction. She might not even realize it's not normal?

 

[H.A.F.]

And I don't think a nominal fee, her buying you some seeds or nutes, or some other compensation is in any way out of the question.

 

[Primo bozo]

I don't know rich people. If Grandma is rich she might be a flat-out bitch and "being generous" (paying people) could have been the only way to keep people around. You never know. That could have been the status quo since childhood.

If you want peace of mind I would confront her with your dilemma. See her reaction. She might not even realize it's not normal?

My wife has met the grandmother and says that she is a very nice person and was amazed at how well she gets around. I should probably mind my own business and not worry about it. It just came across wrong.

 

[H.A.F.]

My wife has met the grandmother and says that she is a very nice person and was amazed at how well she gets around. I should probably mind my own business and not worry about it. It just came across wrong.

Actually, I think blowing off steam and getting input is very wise. If it keeps bugging you I still think the best thing to do is tell her. IF you think she can listen - and not hear what she wants to hear.

 

[Primo bozo]

Yeah, I'm going to just let it go. Never good idea to judge someone just because I personally wouldn't do that. The meds I give her help a lot, and no one else she knows can get it. So I would straight up be cutting her off if I stopped. Keep it the way it is, my karma stays clean, and hers is on her. Thanks.

 

[H.A.F.]

Just remember - it's OK not to like people after you get to know them better.

 

[Primo bozo]

And I don't think a nominal fee, her buying you some seeds or nutes, or some other compensation is in any way out of the question.

We live in what I can only describe as a very hittler-esque state. No medical at all. I am scared to order seeds. The ones I have, I got from someone I met on here. He has generously gifted me quite a bit and wouldn't take money for them. So I don't feel good about asking her for anything. Maybe your right and for them this is normal, like my wife says, "not my monkey, not my circus."

 

[JohnFonda]

Depending on her condition that 6 hours a day can be most of the energy she has to give. Especially if shes older. Look into the price of meds, hospital bills, checkups, it's hard for anyone with a illness like that to be doing great. But yea money rules alot of peoples daily thoughts and processes, just cause someone has a condition doesn't make them a good or bad person. I mean people die, maybe shes just seeing the upside lol. Idk.

 

[Old ST1R]

Maybe Grandma insists on paying her for her time. If she needs the in-home care and would pay someone anyway, why not it be a relative? You never know the situation is. Family is funny like that.

 

[Primo bozo]

Yeah, after thinking about it I realized that I'm out of line to impose my feelings and beliefs on anybody else. Just because I don't like something, doesn't make it wrong. Sometimes I have to try hard not to be an asshole. It seems to sneak up on me

 

[Old ST1R]

Yeah, after thinking about it I realized that I'm out of line to impose my feelings and beliefs on anybody else. Just because I don't like something, doesn't make it wrong. Sometimes I have to try hard not to be an asshole. It seems to sneak up on me

I get where you’re coming from. I’ll bet you feel like she’s taking advantage of you, now that you know she’s making bank? I would feel the same way.

You’re on the right path, IMO, if you keep helping her, and good on you for doing it. . Like you said, karma and all........

 

[Venus]

Yeah, after thinking about it I realized that I'm out of line to impose my feelings and beliefs on anybody else. Just because I don't like something, doesn't make it wrong. Sometimes I have to try hard not to be an asshole. It seems to sneak up on me

I taught myself a long time ago not to pass judgement on others. Mainly because of how badly I hated it being done to me. Doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions and often strong ones but I don’t let that change the way I personally interact with someone.. Opinions are allowed to be diifferent .

It comes down to how it’s gonna make u feel after the fact each time. If it makes u uneasy or uncomfortable then u shouldn’t do it. There’s no karmic value if the gesture isnt rewarding you on it own. ( just my thoughts anyway).

I should also say I haven’t completely taught myself tho, because it would be a different case if she were being harmful to her g’ma in any manner. Then I’m passing judgment on your arse b*tch and not supplying you with the positive energy to continue in your rotten ways. js

 

[BillyMilligan]

Legitimate dilemma, is she charging her Grandmother or taking advantage of a government caregiver program. Would that make a difference to you? By the way thank you for being so kind to support someone.

I love you

 

[Now1more]

I agree with @H.A.F. . Personally I would preface a conversation by stating, "I'm not judging, and I may be wrong, but this bothers me." Explain to her just like you have here. You can share examples of what our community's opinions are. I wouldn't revoke her medicine though. You can even flip it around and say that you're being selfish for having satisfaction of helping with her MS. Funny the games that we can play with ourselves. Or, you can just keep mum. And who knows what she meant about the money, could be her sense of humor. Could be she's laughing on the outside while saying inside... Shit! I'm getting a boat load of money, but my condition is going to get me before I can enjoy it. Most people seem to lean towards dark thoughts... humor is merely a way out.

 

[H.A.F.]

There’s no karmic value if the gesture isnt rewarding you on it own.

Kind of like the gubmint taxing you more, so they can promise more "free" stuff for votes - that's a karma-sucker like no other, and it ain't charity!.

 

[18B]

Fuck it...I would hold the bag of weed in one hand, my cock in the other...you get the picture...nobody rides for free.

 

[Primo bozo]

I've decided to go with the path of least resistance, less stress on me. Gifting someone something that helps them makes me feel better about myself. I am on the outside of a situation, looking at a very miniscule part of a story I have no clue on. The grandmother is 95yrs old, she is wealthy supposedly, so it ain't like she's out spending money on much these days. According to my neighbor, she's in the will, so what does it matter if she gets a little early, actually better because she is working for it. Personally I don't like it, but I don't have to. The phrase mind your own business, I think applies to me here. And it's none of my business. And if cosmic justice prevails, the old lady has already taken her out of the will, and what she's getting now in way of payment, is all she'll see of her money. For all I know, the old girl is laughing herself to sleep every night picturing the look on their face when they find out she left it all to the local homeless shelter, good time's.