Rough one...

gwheels

gwheels

Hobby Farmer
To all the people that lost people...this is a rough one.

I get it today more than other days. I miss my wife. She was the most beautiful woman in the world and taught me there is no race. There is us. She was black and i am wonder loaf.

Rough day for sure. 3 years ago i had to decide hospice was the way.

Sadness will pass. It sucks i have to regurgitate it over and over this time of year but i have a son. He sees this and knows I loved her.

And some times he needs to understand that I was not impervious to the harm of cancer.

I just persevered...and they are not he same thing.

My son has dark skin...if someone drops an N bomb they may never recover..

I am nuts like that.
 
spyralout

spyralout

🌱🌿🌲🔥💨
gwheels said:
To all the people that lost people...this is a rough one.

I get it today more than other days. I miss my wife. She was the most beautiful woman in the world and taught me there is no race. There is us. She was black and i am wonder loaf.

Rough day for sure. 3 years ago i had to decide hospice was the way.

Sadness will pass. It sucks i have to regurgitate it over and over this time of year but i have a son. He sees this and knows I loved her.

And some times he needs to understand that I was not impervious to the harm of cancer.

I just persevered...and they are not he same thing.

My son has dark skin...if someone drops an N bomb they may never recover..

I am nuts like that.
Click to expand...
🤗🤗🤗
 
TerpyTyrone

TerpyTyrone

LED Recruiter
My condolences brother. That stuff runs in my family too. Terrible. I go for a colonoscopy within the next couple months. I'm 34. My mom passed at 56. It's not easy. Only time and fond memories.
The little things. Like I became journeyman carpenter this week. The boss came to me privately 30 minutes befor we leave for the day.
He threatened to red list me if I left his company. Long story short. He apologized for the threats and said that I'm gonna see a change in my check this week. Yesterday. And not to be mistaken. It's no mistake. I earned it. Its a DECEnT pay hike. All the way home all i wanted to do was call my mom and tell her. Hey , look ma I made it. After 10 yrs as an electrician and two college degrees later. @ 34 I FINALLY am happy and where I need to be mentally and have a dauvhter now.
I'm sure she was a great mom and great womam
 
D

Deleted member 60

Guest
Thanks for sharing and offering such deep perspective @gwheels . It's hard to look back but it's good to look back. I can only imagine how hard those times and those decisions must have been for you. There is no greater love than that. She would be honored at the way you speak of her here. That is quite the testament to what you had and will always have with her.....as well as to the fact that true love never dies.
 
gwheels

gwheels

Hobby Farmer
Sorry to hear that man. I believe there is peace and adventure on the other side. And hospice was the biggest bunch of awesome caring people i ever saw in a single place in my life before.
She is in the best place she can be and they can help her be as comfortable as possible.
I hope it goes quick for her.
 
D

Deleted member 60

Guest
Damn that sucks. Just lost my FIL this week....massive stroke...never knew what hit him. Hung around a few days...no brain activity...so they shot him full of morphine and he took the sleepy train out into the unknown.

The message here is so real....and so truthful. Tell someone today how much they mean to you....before it's all over.......

Fuckin song just puts me in tears.......but they are good tears.....no shame.

 
Heathenraider

Heathenraider

Heathen Basterd
gwheels said:
To all the people that lost people...this is a rough one.

I get it today more than other days. I miss my wife. She was the most beautiful woman in the world and taught me there is no race. There is us. She was black and i am wonder loaf.

Rough day for sure. 3 years ago i had to decide hospice was the way.

Sadness will pass. It sucks i have to regurgitate it over and over this time of year but i have a son. He sees this and knows I loved her.

And some times he needs to understand that I was not impervious to the harm of cancer.

I just persevered...and they are not he same thing.

My son has dark skin...if someone drops an N bomb they may never recover..

I am nuts like that.
Click to expand...
That word is not race specific , any person who thinks that is a half wit, sorry for Your loss , I lost My Father to Cancer and not many Families does its hands not touch. In that way We are all Brothers Sisters and Kinsman.
 
yougrowyourway

yougrowyourway

illgrowmyway
Heathenraider said:
That word is not race specific , any person who thinks that is a half wit, sorry for Your loss , I lost My Father to Cancer and not many Families does its hands not touch. In that way We are all Brothers Sisters and Kinsman.
Click to expand...
Thank you for saying that. I got distracted by thoughts of my aunt and what others here are going through. We are all in this together. We have an amazing as I like to say family here. We're here for each other through thick and thin, elated or miserable. So glad I joined RIU when I did.
 
Hotwired

Hotwired

~
I know this is a sad thread and it's good to let it out when it builds up inside your heart.

So I took it upon myself to bring some joy back into your life and brought a friend over to visit you. She is waiting for you outside :alien:




































07.jpg

Hope she is everything you wanted,

Love Hotty and Finchy :giggle:
 
D

Deleted member 60

Guest
My oldest son is/would have been 30 today. It fucks with me daily....but milestone days like this just send it over the top and bring the big picture fully into focus. No daughter-in-law..no grandkids...no future generations....

It's a perspective that I hope that none of you ever understand. Hug 'em tight folks. Shit happens and there is no timeline....
 
sfrigon1

sfrigon1

Seed Aficionado
stiickygreen said:
My oldest son is/would have been 30 today. It fucks with me daily....but milestone days like this just send it over the top and bring the big picture fully into focus. No daughter-in-law..no grandkids...no future generations....

It's a perspective that I hope that none of you ever understand. Hug 'em tight folks. Shit happens and there is no timeline....
Click to expand...
No one should ever out live there children . Sorry for your loss
 
gwheels

gwheels

Hobby Farmer
stiickygreen said:
My oldest son is/would have been 30 today. It fucks with me daily....but milestone days like this just send it over the top and bring the big picture fully into focus. No daughter-in-law..no grandkids...no future generations....

It's a perspective that I hope that none of you ever understand. Hug 'em tight folks. Shit happens and there is no timeline....
Click to expand...
Sorry for your grief man...I cant begin to comprehend it. Not even a little.

Thanks for the perspective...sometimes i need it.
 
Old ST1R

Old ST1R

Grow Yer Own Stone
stiickygreen said:
My oldest son is/would have been 30 today. It fucks with me daily....but milestone days like this just send it over the top and bring the big picture fully into focus. No daughter-in-law..no grandkids...no future generations....

It's a perspective that I hope that none of you ever understand. Hug 'em tight folks. Shit happens and there is no timeline....
Click to expand...
I can’t even imagine. Sounds like you have other children?

I have only one son, no other kids. I try and hug him and tell him I love him every day. One day he’ll move out and that will be hard enough for me and the missus to handle.
 
D

Deleted member 60

Guest
My other son will be 27 next month. He works as a budtender. The apple definitely didn't fall far from the tree there.

Life goes on. All you can do is adjust, change, and do what you can to keep it from eating you alive. We were fortunate that we have a strong bond because a lot of marriages don't survive the onslaught of emotion and the permanence of the event. Bottom line.....anything in your world that is fucked up (especially relationship-wise) before they go is magnified exponentially after they leave.
 
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